lately i’ve been having a hard time at work. the problem itself is very ambiguous, and i cannot specify what exactly triggered this feeling of perplexity. i often feel that i don’t belong there, and am not needed. perhaps it is coming from an accumulation of ongoing frustrations towards minor, yet a number of issues involved in my work life.
in such circumstances especially, it is a great relief to come home and to be totally away from the problematic environment (and i am truly grateful that it is not the opposite). on my way back home on my small bike, i looked up at our apartment window and saw a gentle orange glow inside. although the apartment was in an imminent distance, i couldn’t wait to get there. it was exactly the place i wanted to be, to unwind, fully relax, and most importantly, feel secure.
my husband is an architect and his job is to design & build houses. it is a great, admirable profession which contributes to the society in a larger context. he produces a physical place for dwelling where people start to build up their lives for years and years. but a house is still a practical tool and can be quite cold and soulless. only when it is filled with life, with intangible values such as comfort, leisure, peace and contentment, it finally starts to form a real “home”.
the rich aroma from a cooking pot, the sound of a kettle with boiling water, the warmth of your bed, the view of your laundry outside the window… these things seemingly so meaningless are the core essence to create a home. maybe i, no matter how insignificant i may feel from time to time in a professional life, can perhaps be an architect to build up a great home. i can finally feel that i am contributing. finally, i mean something, to someone, at home.